I have been trying to come up with the words for a post like this for some time now. I keep attempting to start it out, pulling out an anecdote or diving right in, but every time I try to collect my thoughts and hammer out a cohesive post, I fall short.

I’ve struggled with certain blog posts before, having a specific idea I want to write about, but yet meandering my way through it, until it comes to a somewhat cohesive mess. 

So, again, with this post, I feel it is a bit meandery and a bit messy, but it is definitely needed. 

Here’s what I could tell you. 

I could tell you about my therapist sitting across from me with her pen in hand as she asks, “Say, the worst does happen. Say, we did have another Civil War. How would you like to live your life right now, if this were to happen?” 

I could tell you about about how utterly depressed and disappointed I felt when I saw my grandfather proudly pin a Trump/Pence button to his sweater vest during my family’s Christmas get together. 

I could tell you how angry I was and how quickly I shot down my grandmother’s excitement for a Mexican/American border wall, as I told her it was stupid and proceeded to point out all of the reasons why it was an idiotic idea. 

Yet, as I type these things, I want to throw my computer across the room and shout and howl and cry with frustration and rage and disappointment. 

All of these conflicting thoughts tangling together into an unforgivable ball of resolve. 

I had resolve before. I had resolve to live when I came out to my fiancee and ended a relationship. I had resolve to thrive when I came out to my family and forever altered who I was to them. 

I had resolve when I started this blog. I had it when I sent my “To Whom It May Concern” post to my family. I had it when I sent my father his own letter. 

Yet, now, this resolve is something else. 

It is stronger and angrier. 

See, with the news that came out today, the knowledge that the 45th president told the FBI director to drop an investigation and proceeded to detail his desire to destroy the 1st Amendment of the Constitution by wanting to lock up journalists . . . 

Well, let’s just say this, defend this 45th president. 

I dare you. 

Because this miscreant is threatening the very foundations and fabric of democracy. 

It is not okay.

It is not normal. 

This man was vile before he took office, and he has been vile since. 

So, America, you have a choice. 

You have a choice to do the right thing. 

You can stand up at this moment and do the right thing. 

Will you?

Because, I would like to have my life back. I would like to feel like I didn’t need to constantly check the news waiting for America to stand up to a tyrant. 

But, truthfully, I am proud to be a part of the resistance. This is a fight worth fighting. I have never been prouder to be a member of the ACLU. I have never been prouder to be a Democrat. I have never been prouder to be a member of the Human Rights Campaign. 

I have never been prouder to be me, a transgender believer of democracy and equality and science and the value of every human life. 

I will not back down. 

Ever. 

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